Getting over it

sulk/səlk/

Verb: Be silent, morose, and bad-tempered out of annoyance or disappointment.

Noun: A period of gloomy and bad-tempered silence stemming from annoyance and resentment.

"Living well is the best revenge” George Herbert

In 2008, I was just coming finishing my fifth or so month practicing with the UC Davis Men's Football team.  I had committed to mornings, afternoon meetings, weight lifting sessions several times a week, and two hour practices daily.  I had spent a considerable amount of effort making sure that I put forward enough so that I would be able to play with the team yet not exert myself into a state of bodily failure, compromising myself to being sick or getting injured.  It would prove to not be enough. 

After being called in to meet with the head coaching staff, they informed me that I would be dropped from the roster.  There would technically be no record that I ever was a part of the men's football team at UC Davis.  After informing my parents and close friends, I felt something that baffled most people: enjoyment.  While my friends and family started consoling me about my loss I was jubilant and upbeat.  No longer would I experience the aches associated with over-training.  No longer would someone put a deadline or expectation on me that limited my progress or achievements.  No longer would I have to manage being ostracized or feel inferior by others.  No longer would my body be in the control of another person.  This was an amazing day for me!

That very same day I began my swim training.  I pulled out my old suits and goggles and was excited to enjoy the sunshine, the racing heartbeat of a racing swim set and the pool environment rich with young women.  While this optimism was obvious to me, I feel like the others around me would have reacted differently.  By first realizing what is and what is not in our control, we can learn to appreciate what matters and learn to discard emotion for what we cannot control.  More than this however, I feel that I would have wasted an opportunity had I not taken on new challenges immediately.

Yes I did fail.  Yes I do accept that I am responsible for failing.  But, Yes I do also accept that I am responsible for making the next change/improvement to myself to become better than I was at that moment.

Although I would later go on to quit the swim program at Davis, I never took any time to regress.  I always made a stopping point into a springboard.  I fail many times.  Almost every day.  But if I don't get over these failures, then I fail to gain for the failure.  Failure is critical to success.  I only hope that I do not repeat my failures as this is a sign of regression.  I know this individual is out of vogue, however his words have always rung true in my head:

"You only get better or worse.  You never can just stay the same."

Tiger Woods